Choose the God of Your Choice

Does God surprise us...or do we have God all figured out?

Do we define God...or does God refuse to fit into our neat theological understandings?

This skit (from last Sunday) opens up those questions for me...

#1 – Welcome to Bob’s…I’m Bob.   Can I help you?

#2 – My name’s Joe and I sure hope you can do something for me.  I just got laid off from my job.  Money is tight.  I really need a God who can get me through this.  I was told that you might be able to help.

#1 – You’ve come to the right place!  Bob’s is the one-stop store where you can create your own God. 

#2 – How exactly does that work?

#1 – Simple.  You just browse the shelves here to see what kinds of qualities you want in your God.   I’ll mix them together and you can go home with the God that suits your needs!

#2 – Wow…that sounds a bit overwhelming.  I’m not quite sure where I’d even start!

#1 – Don’t worry about it.  I’m here to help.  Now, you say that you lost your job and money is tight.  Sounds like we need to move over to the financial section. 

#2 – The financial section?

#1 – Yup.  We have several packages.  We have the ‘Get rich with faith’ package, the ‘provide in tough times’ package, and the ‘There’s always enough’ package.  What do you think?

#2 – Hmm…the “Get rich with faith” package seems a bit excessive…but I want to do more than be provided for in tough times.  I think I’ll go with ‘There’s always enough.’ 

#1 – Perfect.  You seem like a hard working guy.  Would you like to add the ‘God helps those who help themselves’ package. 

#2 – That sounds great.  I don’t want to have a God who helps those lazy people.

#1 - Now, what to go with it?  I have a really nice God-of-Wrath add on over here…

#2 – I don’t know.  I guess if the wrath is directed at someone other than me I could do that.

#1 – Would the ‘God doesn’t like thieves’ package work for you then?

#2 – Ooh, I don’t think so.  That hits too close to home.  Might you have a ‘God hates murders’ option…or something like it?

#1 – It’s right here.  It’s a popular one…I mean, a little wrath goes a long way.  We just have to make sure it’s directed at people who do things we don’t do…like murder!  They can take the wrath so we can avoid it.  Now what else…How about a sickness add-on?  Do you want a God who heals you when you need it?

#2 – Sure!  Glad you thought of it!

#1 – Do you need any grace in this God?

#2 – Ooh, not too much.  A little grace is ok…I mean, I’m not perfect, but I don’t want God to forgive too many people. So many just don’t deserve it.  I don’t know where to draw the line…

#1 –We can be pretty specific on our grace packages to make sure you qualify.  I mean, who wants to have a God who doesn’t give THEM grace…but who wants a God who gives it to too many people?  How about this package, ‘God forgives white guys named Joe who live on 21^st Street and drive a Chevy?’ 

#2 – Wow, that’s specific.  I like it.  It means that God will show ME grace no matter what.  That’s what I want.

#1 – So…this is what we have so far.  We have the ‘There’s always enough’ God with these add-ons.  “God hates murderers,” “God helps those who help themselves.” “God heals sickness.”  “God forgives white guys named Joe who live on 21^st Street and drive a Chevy.” 

#2 – That sounds awesome.  I like this idea of being able to pick out my own God.

#1 – That’s what we’re all about here at Bob’s.  Who wants a God who might make you uncomfortable or who might be unpredictable and hard to figure out?  We make it easy to find the God who fits perfectly with what you want.