Addictions come in many shapes and sizes

This past weekend I came to the sad realization: I am an addict…and I blame it on Steve Szuberski!

I just returned from Peace’s annual Ice Fishing weekend.  We had a weekend abounding in fish…good beverages…wind…more wind…and even more wind.  On Saturday we had a hard time keeping one of the ice houses in place – it kept wanting to blow across the ice!  We cleaned (and ate) piles of perch and sunnies.  We even hauled in about a 17 inch bass (caught on a piece of chicken wing…go figure).

As the crew arrived at the cabin and started unloading, I knew I was in for a rough time.  First came the chips and salsa.  Then came the cookies.  Then the jalapeno cheese curls.  At last Steve walked in with the final straw: trail mix.  My mouth watered as he mixed together the peanuts, raisins, and M&M’s. 

Over the Christmas season I knew that I ate way too much.  I started to become what my friend Kevin Woestehoff calls a ‘fat skinny man,’ a thin guy with a gut.  I entered the new year vowing to cut back and take care of myself.  As I saw the delicious piles of snacks on the counter at the cabin, I feared that the vow would get set aside for a while.  It did.

Every time I walked past an open bag I’d stick in my hand.  At first I ate because I was hungry.  Later I ate because it tasted wonderful.  Finally I ate…because it was there.   Trail mix provides the perfect combination of sweet and salt.  I can only eat so many sweet things before it gets to be too much.  I can only handle so much salt at one sitting.  But…put the two together and the munching becomes endless. 

The first night I lay in bed, feeling like a bowling ball had been plopped on top of me.  My stomach ached.  The mountains of salt dehydrated me.  I felt gross.

I’m a smart guy…I should have learned from that experience.  I didn’t.  Sadly, the next day was worse.  I told myself to stop munching, but I repeatedly found myself at the counter full of snacks, grabbing ‘just one more.’  I couldn’t control my actions.  That sounds like addiction to me.  

I returned home with a small jar of trail mix. I told Shannon, “I don’t want to eat any more – it’s yours.”  A couple hours I found the jar in my hand.  What could be wrong with one more little bit?  Shannon held me to my word and took it away.  The next morning I thought a quick bite would be great before heading to work.  Again, Shannon reminded me, “You said you were done eating this!”  

I didn’t quit until I had someone to help me quit.  I couldn’t do it alone.  That’s why God gave me such a loving wife!

Addictions come in many shapes and sizes.  Alcohol … pornography … food … TV … Facebook… e-mail…texting… the list can go on and on.  We all have things we can’t control.  They overwhelm our willpower and cause us to do the very things we want to avoid.     

Addictions without accountability can crush us.  We need not suffer alone!  Who has God put into your life to help you control the addictions that threaten to overwhelm you?   

Public & Accountable...I Need That!

This morning my alarm went off at 5:30.  I groggily reached over to shut it off, and then lay quietly in the dark.  What kind of crazy person willingly gets up at 5:30?  I lay under the warm blankets, quite tempted to just stay put.  I had a zillion reasons to just go back to sleep.  Temptation surrounded me.  It took every ounce of energy to throw aside the sheets and meet the cold air.

What motivated me to actually move?  Wednesday morning is basketball morning here in Eyota.  I join a group of guys who hit the gym at 6:00 and play for an hour.  It keeps me in shape, but that’s not what got me out of bed.  I love the game, but could easily talk myself out of it in the darkness of 5:30.  I got up because people expected me to.  I’ve committed to get myself on the court by 6:00.  It’s not that anyone forces me to do anything that I don’t want to do.  I’m publically accountable for my actions.  Those expectations supported my decision to do what I knew I wanted to do: get up!  At 5:30 in the morning, with excuses swirling, I needed those expectations.

Last January I committed to reading through the entire Bible in 2011.  I’d made the attempt before and failed. It’s easy to get behind and find 1001 excuses why it’s not worth the effort.  Reading through the Bible in a year takes serious commitment.

I’m pleased to report that I made it!  I got into a routine of getting up a few minutes early and heading right for the Bible.  At times I lacked the motivation to keep charging along, but every time that happened I remembered my public promise to finish it.  If I quit I wouldn’t just let myself down…I’d have to admit to others that I didn’t do what I wanted to do.   The excuses faded away.  I kept going and finished what I started.

Now, as the calendar has flipped over to 2012, I find myself in a bit of a bind.  I had plans of continuing with morning devotions…but the excuses have found their way back into my life.  I haven’t had that public accountability…and I’ve slacked.  It’s not that I need others to force me to do something I hate…I need others to support me to do what I want to do!  I can work through all kinds of excuses on my own, but those excuses sound pretty lame when I try to explain them to someone else.

So it looks like I need to be public and accountable again!  Starting tomorrow morning, I plan to take 5 to 10 minutes each morning in Bible reading and prayer.  It won’t be a ‘through the year’ kind of thing.  I want to be able to focus on smaller passages and ponder them more deeply.  I will begin with the Gospel of Matthew, reading a portion, imagining what it would be like to be in the story, and asking God what it might mean for my life.  It’s something I enjoy, but apparently I need the support of others to get it done.

For me, this is the church at its best…supporting each other as we grow in faith.  As God’s people we can help each other in so many ways: devotions, prayer, diet, exercise, getting enough sleep, cutting back on work, putting in enough work, keeping the house clean, quitting smoking, cutting back (or stopping) drinking…the list can go on and on.  The Holy Spirit works through others to support us.  In what areas might some sort of public accountability help in your life?  You are not alone!  Let God work through others to help you do what you know you want (or need) to do!

Learning to be Still

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I AM.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be. 

I’m not an expert in being still.  It’s not how I’m made. 

Back in my seminary days I received a challenging assignment for one of my classes: spend an hour silently and prayerfully meditating on a few verses of Scripture.  Many of my classmates reveled the in the opportunity to be still with God.  I went nuts.  It took all my energy to sit still long enough and keep focused. 

Some people find joy and contentment when they have an opportunity to be alone.  They crave those moments when they can quietly reflect on life and faith.   They prefer to spend time with God with reading and contemplating.  That's not me!

I find joy and contentment when I’m with people…when I’m where the action is.  I crave those moments when I can creatively run ideas past other people.  I prefer to spend time with God in groups: discussing and talking things through.   I love it when there’s a lot going on.  In fact, when there’s not a lot going on I tend to come up with NEW things!

Sometimes, though, I hit my limit.  As the calendar rolled into 2012 even I felt overwhelmed.  With all the building issues of 2011, a lot of things got put off until ‘after the New Year.’  Not surprisingly, as I sat in the office on January 3^rd I looked at all the activities that needed to be planned and I thought, “How in the WORLD will this ever get done?!”  Budgets…classes…council planning…family ministry planning…confirmation….first communion…end of year reports…ufdah!  Add in all the annual reports that I need to do in my role as Synod Mission director and a slight sense of panic set in.  I flitted from one task to the next, never really getting much of anything done.  I struggled to focus.  It takes a lot to overwhelm me…but in that moment I felt overwhelmed.

People like me still need to hear the words of Psalm 46, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I needed to set aside the to-do list for a moment and talk to God.  I needed to take a deep breath and recognize that God didn’t call me to be the savior of the world…Jesus had that covered!  I simply needed to be a faithful servant. 

Once I got my mind to slow down a bit I jumped into the many tasks with relish.  It’s awesome to be a part of a congregation where so many exciting things are happening.

In the midst of the crazy life that I crave, Jesus still calls me to moments of stillness.  I’ll never be one to meditate for hours on end, but a few moments a day with my savior help me keep life in perspective.  For me, 5 minutes of calm prayer at the beginning of the day goes a long way towards helping me focus on the God who gives me strength. 

How does God call you to be still in your life?