My Sister's Wedding Day

 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”  Matthew 19:4-6

Weddings have become increasingly complex events.  Gone are the days when the couple can just go to the parsonage for the pastor to marry them!  Weddings mean planning…and more planning…and even more planning!  Weddings have become day long EVENTS…just ask any engaged couple (or their parents)!  There are reception halls to reserve (many of which are booked over a year in advance)…caterers to try out…soloists/musicians to secure…DJs (or bands) to sign up…photographers to book…cakes to sample…dresses to try on…tuxes to reserve…invitations to order and send out…RSVPs to process…groom’s dinner locations to secure…and the list can go on and on.  Oh, and don’t forget the preacher (who is a bit important to the whole proceeding…and who will probably require some premarital counseling). 

Somewhere in the midst of all that hoopla the couple becomes husband and wife.



The 'Head Usher' keeps his eyes on the proceedings!

This past weekend I got to head down to Iowa for my sister Sarah’s wedding.  If ever there were a wedding without hoopla, this was it.  The service was simple with a focus on how God worked in their relationship.  The reception immediately followed at the church with cupcakes, punch, and mints.  We all had a chance to chat for a while, catching up with relatives and congratulating the couple.  Then Landon and Sarah headed out the door as husband and wife amid a sea of bubbles. 

At the end of the day, the important thing was that ‘a man left his father and mother to be united to his wife, and the two became one flesh’.  We got to surround them in our love and our prayers. 

  

It was especially fun for me to be at a wedding that I didn’t have to preach at.  I could simply be the big brother.  I had the honor of being the (self-appointed) head usher, meaning I got to tell my brothers what to do.  I spent time with my relatives…and get to know some new ones.  It was a truly wonderful weekend.

 

My prayer for Landon and Sarah (and for all married couples, really) is that they will grow together in love…that they would be able to forgive as they have been forgiven…that they will allow God to be the bedrock of their relationship…that they would receive the blessing of their families…and that they would just have a whole lot of fun together!

  

Any marriage based on these things will be in good shape, whether the wedding day abounds in hoopla or not!

School...something I was glad to finish!

Graduation season takes me back to my own school days.  I started my school career at King Elementary school in Des Moines with a LONG road ahead of me.  King only had kids through third grade before sending us across town to Perkins elementary, and  I remember the excitement that I felt as I wrapped up third grade.  I wouldn’t be with those ‘little kids’ anymore. From a year at Perkins…to a move Washington Elementary School in Atlantic, Iowa, I counted down the days until I was old enough to get to junior high.  I enjoyed my time of kick ball, school plays, and recess, but I didn’t want it forever.  I wanted to move on.

Junior high was…well, junior high. I got to try some new things (including short lived football and track careers…I was skinny, weak, and slow, not a good combination).  I didn’t exactly enjoy junior high and couldn’t wait to move up to the pinnacle of my youth: high school! 

I thoroughly enjoyed high school.  I handled the academics with ease (a proud valedictorian!) and excelled in band (three years in the All-State Band), but I had the most pride in my improving basketball game!  I became a significant contributor my senior year…after my coordination started catching up with!  In high school I had good friends, a good church, and good times.  Even with all that, as my senior year wound down, senioritis hit with a vengeance.  I was done with high school.  I had bigger fish to fry!  I wasn’t a kid anymore.

Off I went to the ‘big time,’ Northwestern University in Chicago (not the one in Cities!).  Northwestern proved to be a challenge that I faced head on.  I went to class with some of the top students in the country.  Competition was fierce.  I joined NU’s marching band my freshman year, providing the opportunity to march at halftime of a Bears game…and on the outfield at Wrigley!   Northwestern brought out the best in me…but by my senior year, I was done!  As a smart student, I’d done a perfect job of setting classes for my senior spring.  I had little to do but play softball and lay in the sun by Lake Michigan.  I loved college…but I was done!  Time to move on…to seminary!

I kicked off seminary with the end already in sight.  Twenty years in school (twenty one if you count kindergarten) was more than enough for me!  By my senior year of seminary I just wanted out.  I wanted to be a pastor.  Graduation came as a relief.  At long last…school was done!

A couple years ago someone approached me about going back to school to get a doctorate.  I pondered it for a bit, but realized that I have little desire to go back to school again.  I’ve put in my time.  I’m done.

I don’t think I’m alone.  School is the kind of thing that most people endure…and are glad to finish.    Once graduation comes, you don’t go back (except for a reunion here or there).  School is a thing for kids…not ‘old timers’. 

With that in mind…why have we in the church insisted on using school language when we talk of the ways that we raise kids in the faith?  We’ve had Sunday School…Vacation Bible School…  Does the word school give the impression that this is something to endure…and get over with?  Is the goal to learn what you need to learn when you’re young…never to return?  I don’t think so!

Faith in Jesus Christ is more than simply knowing some facts that we may or may not have learned when we were kids.  Faith in Jesus is a daily relationship of walking with our Lord.  In that sense we’re never done learning…we’re never done growing…we’re never done being with God!  The image of ‘school’ (at least my experience of school) misses this completely.  Every year I learn more about the ways that God works in my life.  The relationship never ends.

This fall at Peace Lutheran Church we will still meet after worship on Sundays.  We will still take time to help people grow in faith.  But if we don’t call it Sunday School, what do we call it?  We need a name! 

Our Sunday ‘after worship’ faith building activity will now include entire families.  We will model the idea that learning about Jesus isn’t just for kids.  We will have family Sunday activities along with Wednesday events (some age specific…some family centered).  Do we call them ‘Sunday Faith’ and ‘Wednesday Faith’?  Do we call them ‘People at Peace Gathering Together to Grow in Faith (PPGTGF)’…probably not!

We’re on a quest for a catchy name that clarifies what we’re about: gathering generations together to share faith stories, ponder how God works in the world, and grow deep in a relationship with Jesus.  This isn’t school anymore!  Ideas??

The Culture of 'Beauty'

The more I ponder it, the more confused I become.

I’ve presided at a couple weddings over the past few weeks.  The women woke up early to get in to their hair appointments.  Many women had their make-up professionally applied.  Some dieted for weeks to allow their carefully tailored dresses to fit perfectly.  Hours were spent on making themselves look beautiful for the momentous occasion. 

The men rolled out of bed late, possibly took a shower, ran a comb through their hair, jumped into a tux, and were good to go.

Why this discrepancy?  Why do we as a culture insist that our women spend a fortune on make-up, hair products, and clothes while men get a pass?  The old adage tells us that beauty is only skin deep, but the billions of dollars spent on women’s beauty products shows that adage to be a lie.  

Vanderbilt head football coach James Franklin spoke to this ’need’ for female beauty in a radio show last week:

“I’ve been saying it for a long time, I will not hire an assistant until I see his wife. If she looks the part and she’s a D1 recruit, then you got a chance to get hired. That’s part of the deal. There’s a very strong correlation between having the confidence, going up and talking to a women, and being quick on your feet and having some personality and confidence and being articulate and confident, than it is walking into a high school and recruiting a kid and selling him.”

According to Franklin, a man can’t successfully coach college football unless he’s confidently ‘snagged’ a beautiful wife.  Really?  Is beauty that important?

I’m not sure that God gets quite so anxious about our ideas of beauty.  Genesis 1 tells us, “So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”  Something tells me that any creature created in the image of God must be beautiful already, without a hint of eye liner or lipstick. 

True beauty doesn’t depend on smooth skin or a ‘perfect’ body shape.  True beauty comes from being created by God.  Have we gotten so caught up in the culture of ‘female beauty’ that we’ve forgotten that?