Friday, March 13, 2015

Accepting Mediocrity

A while back I sat through a church conference presentation that I thought would never end.  The presenter had some helpful things to say but the room drifted into a late afternoon stupor .  Hearing someone read bullet points off of a PowerPoint in a monotone proved too much.  The pain people experienced overflowed in the bitter conversation over dinner. 

“What a waste of time.” 
“Doesn't she know that she’s boring?” 
“I came here to learn, not to be put to sleep.”  

Those who knew the presenter stood up for her (following Martin Luther’s words, ‘Defend them, speak well of them, and explain their actions in the kindest way’).  “She’s a good person who loves the church and knows her material.  She obviously didn't have time to prepare.  Go easy on her.  It’s not her fault.”

A whole table full of people talked ABOUT the presenter, but not one person talked TO the presenter.  Nobody would dare do that.  It would be the height of rudeness to tell someone that their presentation was mind numbing!  As Christians we’re supposed to love and support each other, right?

That’s exactly why someone needed to talk to the presenter!   Was it loving to allow her to think she did a great job when she didn’t?  Would it be more loving to talk behind her back or to speak truth in love to her face?  If the presenter truly ‘loves the church and knows her material’ she will WANT that kind of feedback to allow her words to carry the power and insight that can change the world.
Instead, out of Christian ‘politeness,’ people chose to complain among themselves.


Recently I met with someone from an organization that embraces a brutally honest culture.  When they give a presentation people sit in the back to observe.   They take time afterwards to sit with the presenter and offer very pointed critiques to allow the presenter to do a better job the next time.  The person I met with told of his early days in the organization.  He had been assigned to observe one of the icons of their movement as she led a group.   In the feedback time that followed he simply stated, “That was the best presentation I have ever seen.  You have an amazing gift for this and I am fortunate to be able to observe.”  At the end of the feedback session, she took him aside privately and said, “If you don’t have any helpful critique for me you are of no use to me.”

This sounds harsh but every presenter in the organization sought to be the best that they could be.  If they only received sycophantic feedback then they would never have the opportunity to face their weak areas.  They would remain trapped in the same unhelpful patterns throughout their career.  They would never fully unleash all their God-given gifts.

Last year I spoke at a gathering of retired pastors.  The gathering ended with me receiving kudos from many in the room.  “Great presentation, Pete.”  “You have a lot of energy.”  “Well done.”  One response, however, stuck with me, “You yelled the whole time.  You had a microphone, so bring your voice down a bit.  It was hard to listen to you for the whole time.  I eventually tuned you out.”  His response took me by surprise.  My first thought, “How could he be so rude?!”  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he had a point.  He wasn’t attacking me as a person.  He wanted to help me to be a better presenter.  Now, as I speak to a group, I intentionally think about the way I sound.  One person’s honest response changes how I act.  Without it, I would never have known.

Many of our churches have created a culture of accepting mediocrity.   We equate ‘what I do’ with ‘who I am,’ so any critique of my actions becomes a personal attack.  We’re willing to lie and say, “Great job” when we know it was anything but great.  We label someone ‘a jerk’ if they speak the truth…sometimes the truth that everyone else is thinking but is afraid to say.   What if we created a culture of honesty, where in love for one another we could actually talk about ways to improve? 

We’re afraid of that kind of honesty.  The sermon was terrible?  That’s OK, he’s a nice guy.  The council meeting ran way over because the president kept getting sidetracked?  Annoying, but we can deal with it.  One person completely dominated the adult ed conversation, leaving no room for anyone else to speak?  That’s just fine, we just won’t go next time.

I know full well that some people are just mean.  They go out of their way to criticize for the sole purpose of making someone feel terrible.   That’s not what I’m talking about here.  When we’re in loving relationships with each other we can be honest with each other.  We can provide praise when that’s appropriate.  We can offer critique when needed. 


God calls us to excellence in what we do.  Leaders who can’t face any critique will remain limited in their abilities and will never fully use the gifts that God has given them.  How can God’s church boldly proclaim God’s Good News to a world that desperately needs to hear it if we so willingly embrace mediocrity? 

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