Rejoicing with the flu

A week ago, I’d had enough!  Five days of a major sore throat and cough led to two days

of pure exhaustion.  I barely had the energy to get out of bed. Frustration mounted, partly because I fely lousy, but more because of my ‘to do’ list.  Last week I had very few appointments on my work calendar, so I’d planned to use the week to push ahead on a zillion projects.  It was the week for me to get everything set up for the year and take care of those niggling tasks which I had been putting off.  Yet instead of energetically charging forward, I lay in bed, coughing and miserable.  In one burst of angst, I railed to my wife Shannon, “I’m so sick of being sick!  I can’t wait for this to get done.  I have things to do!”

A bit ironic to say that to someone who has had cancer (and the accompanying treatments) for over a decade. 

I knew full well that within a matter of days the virus would run its course and go away.   Shannon doesn’t have that luxury.  She lives with aches and exhaustion that comes and goes,but she never knows how long they will last.  Some are temporary.  Some hang around for a long time.  Some come back every time a new treatment begins.  I sought to ‘hurry through’ the bad times to get them over with.  She is much better at living life in the midst of it all.

For years I have told Shannon, “Don’t worry about how much you can get done.  If you feel miserable, go back to bed.  Rest and take care of yourself.  Life is more important that a to do list.”  Last week, it was time for me to listen to my own advice.   Every day comes as a gift from God, even days when we don’t get to do what we want to do.

Thoughts of the myriads of people who would choose my temporary cold over their own debilitating pain and illnessess humbled me.  One verse came to mind:

This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

How could I be glad in a day that felt so miserable?  First of all, I could enjoy the blessings of Day-Quil.  I still felt sore and exhausted, but it helped.  More importantly, I had to let go of my expecations.  My dreams of getting so much work done had to be set aside.  I just didn’t have the energy or focus to pull it off.  So instead of trying to slog through work, I curled up in bed with a cat and good book.   I napped when I felt tired.  I sent my son to pick up fried chicken for supper.  I drank hot chocolate.  I found joy in small things.

I went to bed that night with a sense of calm.  Physically I didn’t feel better, but acceptance my reality allowed room for joy.  I still wanted to get over it and get back to work, but for a moment I could pause and simply rest.  The world would still go around if I didn’t get everything done that day. 

This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

I needed that reminder.