Welcome to Church?

Two weeks ago today I did an amazing job of making people feel welcomed and cared for!  I planned ahead to make sure everything was in place.  I had candy bowl full of Dum Dums to give to kids (research has shown that young children prefer pure sugar to chocolate, so I strove to meet that need).   Lights blazed in the darkness by my front door, welcoming young and old to come and feast on the treats I had to offer.  At first they came one by one, but soon large groups of children flocked up my driveway, receiving a hearty smile, a kind word, and (of course) candy.   They came to me and received a warm welcome.  I had a couple kids come back a second time.  I had candy for kids.  They came and received it.  Apparently I was doing something right!   

This morning I attempted to do the same thing.  Once again, I planned ahead to make sure everything was in place.  This time I have those little candy pumpkins, the ones made 100% from sugar.  I have the lights on, welcoming young and old to come and feast on the treats I have to offer.  To this point the doorbell has remained quiet.  Not a single child has come for my candy.  I’m standing here ready to give them the full welcome treatment, but something seems to have gone wrong.  I have candy for kids.  Nobody is coming.  What am I doing wrong?  Perhaps they like Dum Dums more than candy pumpkins.  Perhaps my outdoor light isn’t bright enough.  Perhaps my grand welcoming from a couple weeks ago wasn’t as great as I had hoped. 

Or…perhaps it’s not Halloween anymore and kids aren’t going to simply show up on my doorstep.  If I want to hand out candy, perhaps I need to step out the front door and find children out in the community who would like candy.  I suspect that the police would track me down if I simply got in the car and drove around, stopping when I saw kids to give them something.   If I’m actually going to give this candy away, I’ll need to go build some relationships of trust so I’m not just ‘the creepy guy with candy.’

In the past couple weeks I have read several poignant blog articles about the ways that congregations are (or are not) welcoming to visitors.  These posts, like this one from Thom S. Rainer, challenge congregations to do a better job of making people feel welcome.  Most congregations call themselves ‘friendly,’ but the experience of visitors often shows a different reality.  Congregation members are friendly to each other based on long standing relationships and assume that  their ‘friendliness’ rubs off on new people walking in the door. Often it doesn't.  People come to worship for the first time and feel brushed aside and ignored.  Many come looking for a loving community and only find a ‘family’ that has no idea what to do with ‘outsiders.’  Many words are written to aid congregations in figuring out helpful ways of making visitors feel welcome and at home.   

I fully agree that congregations need to wrap their minds around the issue of welcome.  We want to do everything in our power to connect people to a community of faith!  I have heard of ‘secret shopper’ type programs where people will visit a congregation for the sole purpose of reporting their experience of welcome.  This helps communities of faith to more effectively look in the mirror and understand how their actions invite (or drive away) those who visit.

But finding ways of welcoming those who walk in the door feels a little like my standing at the front door this morning.  There was a day when visitors flocked to churches.  Whenever someone moved to town they ‘shopped’ around to find a new church home.  It was expected.  It was like Halloween: turn on the lights, open the doors, and people come.  The biggest worry was how to make them feel welcome.

It’s not Halloween anymore!  Fewer and fewer people are actively looking for a congregation.  The reputation of Christian churches has taken a hit over the past few decades.  We can have the most wonderful, welcoming congregation, but nobody will know it if they don’t walk in the front door.  We’re left standing with some tremendous Halloween candy and nobody to give it to.

If we want to invite people to know this wonderful God that we worship, perhaps we need to step out the front door and find people out in the community.  It won’t work to simply get in the car and drive around, proclaiming Jesus whenever we see people walking by.   If we’re actually going to share this faith, we’ll need to go build some relationships of trust so we’re not just ‘the creepy folks with Bibles.’ 

Perhaps the ‘welcome’ doesn’t start at the front door of a church building.  Perhaps the true ‘welcome’ to someone comes in a neighborhood, at work, or at the gym as we build relationships with people.  We show the love of God to the world, not to manipulate people into attending our churches, but out of genuine concern for the other.  As the song goes, “They will know we are Christians by our love.”   Through these relationships we are then free to be truly welcoming and inviting.  It opens the door to deep conversation, where we not only share our experience of faith, but where we take the time to listen to others’ experiences. 

Perhaps the true ‘welcome’ to someone comes as we provide meals to the hungry, shelter for the homeless, comfort for the grieving, hope to the despairing, or community to those feeling alone.  All these things tend to happen outside church walls.

It’s not Halloween anymore.  How might the Spirit lead you outside the walls of your church building to welcome people where they are?