Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Struggles With Porn - Likely This Means You!


Some troubling statistics:

·         40 million US adults regularly visit internet porn sites (that’s nearly 17% of the population)

·         35% of ALL internet downloads are pornography

·         Every second 28,258 internet users are viewing porn

·         12% of all websites are pornographic

We live in a world awash in images of sex.   What used to be relegated to girlie magazine subscriptions has burst onto the internet.  People used to have to go out of their way to find pornographic images.  With the internet they are just a click away…and sometimes they can be found without even looking for them. 

We have this image of the ‘dirty old men’ in their basements feeding their addictions, but the truth is much more troubling.

·         One in three porn users is a woman

·         47% of Christians say that porn is a major problem in their home

Think about that number.  47%!  And that’s just the families that realize there is a problem.  I’d argue that a very significant number of families don’t even know there is an issue in their household.  When we talk about porn use, we’re not talking about ‘those people’ out there.  We’re talking about people of faith.  We’re talking about people at your church.  Likely, we’re talking about YOU! 

Pornography an issue that drives a wedge between us and God.  You know it’s wrong, but you just can’t help yourself.  Porn use results in significant feelings of guilt…but its addictive nature brings you back for more.  It makes us feel unworthy of God, yet we don’t seem to be able to do a thing about it.

Sadly, most people feel that they could never admit to their problem.  They look at other ‘good church’ people and wish they could ‘be strong like them.’  They try to fight the addiction on their own, and the lack of control only serves to ‘prove’ that they are not faithful followers of Jesus.  What we need to realize is that most people around us fight the same battle.  We are not alone.  We are not hopeless.  We are broken people who need help.  I think Jesus came for people like that!

It’s the silent nature of porn that proves the most destructive, but we need not be alone!  An enormous first step is to admit to someone that there is a problem.  It’s hard but it makes all the difference in the world.  When we have someone else ‘in the know’ we have a support group…not someone to yell at us, but someone to hold us accountable to do what we want to do in the first place.

If you struggle with porn, find someone you trust and tell them about it.  Let them help you!  If you find your spouse has issues with porn, don’t kill them!  Support them.  Help them through it.  Don’t be afraid to ask blunt questions of those you love.  Perhaps you can help support them in their times of trial.   Don’t do it to judge them…do it to help!

A VERY helpful website for tips and help is www.xxxchurch.com.  It abounds in stories of normal people of faith struggling just like you.  If you don’t know where to start, it’s a great place to take the first step. 

There is hope!  Jesus came to die for porn users that they might have forgiveness (yes, that means you too).  Jesus spent his time with the ‘unworthy’ of his society.  Jesus hasn’t given up on you…but Jesus doesn’t want you to fight alone either!

It breaks my heart to know how often people wander from the faith because they feel too ‘dirty’ to be redeemed.  Let’s bring porn use out of the closet and deal with it face to face.  You are not alone!

2 comments:

  1. I saw an episode of Oprah a few years back in which they had a statistic about the number of pastors who engage with porn. I believe it was around 60%. You are right, it effects everybody.

    I appreciate your post because I think we need to continue to make it "safe" to share these struggles. There was a time when admitting to alcohol addiction was likely the end of your job/career. We understand that now in a different way. Seems to me we're back at those early stages with porn. If you were to come out with such a struggle you would probably have to remove the "Pastor" from the front of your name. So why, then, would you want to come out with it?... Problem: I just don't know how to make it safe.

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  2. Couldn't agree more. Until people can be free to admit their struggles it will just keep people from getting the help they need.

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