Maybe I'm not in control

4+4=8

9*9=81

4+8*2-3*4=8 (Ah, that pesky order of operations!)

 

I love math.  In fact, I majored in statistics in college.  The great thing about math is its predictability.   I have a sense of control over the numbers.  If I use the right formulae I get the right answer every time.  It’s up to me to get it right.

Other parts of life can seem to fit this same mold.  If I work hard and manage my finances properly I will be financially secure.  If I go jogging several days a week and eat healthy foods then I will be rewarded with good health.  If I raise my son in the right way he will grow to be a responsible young man.  If I use the right formulae I get the right answer every time.  It’s up to me to get it right.   I have control over my life. 

It sounds so simple…until it all falls apart.

Last week I had a chance to get some fishing in with a good friend of mine.  We had the right lures at the right places at the right time of day.  We know our stuff!  We waited for the haul of fish but we caught next to nothing!  I went a day and a half without getting a fish in the boat.  We got excited about catching scrawny little 15” northern!   My sense of control faded.  Was I using the wrong colored lure…the wrong size…were the fish deeper…shallower?  I did what people often do when control fades: I appealed to a higher authority!  “God, I’m on vacation and I want to catch fish!”  I bargained with God…I pleaded with God…I still didn’t catch many fish. 

When I have things under control I know who I trust: me!  I know who should get the credit: me!  When the finances look good and I feel healthy and my son does well I pat myself on the back for a job well done.

When things get out of control I’m forced away from that fallacy.  Sometimes, despite my best efforts, finances get tough.  Sometimes people who care for their bodies diligently get cancer...that’s sure the case for Shannon!  Sometimes my ‘brilliant’ parenting seems to go south.  I can use the right formulae and get the wrong results.  Maybe I’m not as in control of life as I thought.  When this happens I do what people often do when control fades: I appeal to a higher authority!  I lean on the One who has power.

Why do I turn to God so much more quickly when I think I have lost control?  There seems to be some randomness to this world.  Things do not turn out as expected.  The formulae don’t always work.  It’s time to recognize that One that remains in control at ALL times, in good and bad days.