It's the best time of the year
I don't know if there'll be snow
but have a cup of cheer
Have a holly, jolly Christmas;
And when you walk down the street
Say Hello to friends you know
and everyone you meet.
Oh Ho the mistletoe hung where you can see;
Somebody waits for you;
Kiss her once for me
Have a holly jolly Christmas
and in case you didn't hear
Oh by golly have a holly jolly Xmas this year
These classic words clearly explain the expected Christmas mood. This is a season for love, joy, and family. It’s a time to be merry and excited about life. It’s a time for warm, cozy feelings. We expect our days to be merry and bright.
It can be hard to live up to those high expectations. The truth for many people is that Christmas becomes a time of disappointment, anxiety, and depression.
A number of years ago I found myself leading a Christmas service at a funeral home. It wasn’t a time to talk about ‘a cup of cheer’! For those who have lost loved ones, Christmas abounds in loneliness. Memories of those who no longer gather around the Christmas tree bring tears to people’s eyes.
Many families get together to celebrate Christmas. Quite often these Christmas gatherings produce more anxiety and hurt feelings than ‘comfort and joy.’ People who avoid each other all year long suddenly sit together expecting everyone to be happy. It doesn’t happen. Old resentments bubble over (or simmer under the surface). People wonder, “Why can’t I have a NORMAL family?” Perhaps this family anxiety IS normal!!
Many people will spend Christmas alone, far from family and friends. They will feel that ‘everyone is happy except me.’
Some couples will acutely feel the pain of infertility as they imagine presents for little ones under a tree. “If only we had children to celebrate with.”
Some divorced families will experience the frustration of the battle over ‘who gets the kids on Christmas Eve.’
How do we learn to manage expectations? We SO want Christmas to be perfect in every way. We want happiness and joy at every turn. Let’s be honest with ourselves: Christmas doesn’t always live up to the hype.
We live in a broken world. We live in a world where relationships are strained, where death rips people away, where loneliness abounds. We can’t just wish someone ‘Merry Christmas’ and expect all that pain to go away.
2000 years ago God chose to come into this broken world. His parents had to leave home to travel to Bethlehem. They couldn’t even find a decent place to spend the night. The baby Jesus entered that anxiety to bring hope.
God lives among us even as we suffer. As we focus on the Christ who came to live with us, we can look at the Christmas season with honesty. Jesus did not come to have it be ‘perfect.’ Jesus came to live with us, wherever we might find ourselves.
This Christmas, feel free to lay before your newborn king your joys & sorrows, your excitement & pain, your contentment & loneliness.
Welcome to the manger! Unto us a child has been born!
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