God, the cancer is back!

Dear God,

My wife Shannon’s ovarian cancer is back.  It never really went away, did it?  Last November the oncologist couldn’t see any cancer, so Shannon was taken off of chemo.  She’s had a great eight months of gaining strength, getting to travel and enjoying life.  We knew that it wouldn’t last.  Deep down, we’ve been expecting this cancer to return.

This cancer has put my family on a roller coaster over the years.  God, I thank you that you helped Shannon to notice those lumps back in 2004.  You gave her an excellent surgeon who cleaned out the cancer and prepared her for chemo.  That first chemo was nasty stuff, but we had great hopes that you would use it to make the cancer go away forever.  It didn’t.  Six months after that chemo regimen ended the cancer returned.   Another surgery and more nasty chemo followed.  Again we hoped that the cancer would go away.  It didn’t. 

Lord, I can never forget the conversation with her oncologist after the cancer returned that second time.  She explained that Shannon had a type of cancer that was resistant to the standard therapies.  The oncologist told us that Shannon didn’t have many options remaining.  There were just a few experimental therapies available for her type of cancer.  None of them had a track record of getting rid of cancer.  They sometimes slowed its growth. That was the best that could be offered at the time.  It didn’t sound good.

I admit that when that happened I was pretty scared.  My mother died when I was in second grade.  It seemed likely that my family history would repeat itself.  In the midst of that dark time, you taught me something very important.  I learned to live in the moment.  Every time that I looked into the future I only saw darkness.  I didn’t want to lose my wife!  I learned that I can’t live life like that.  I learned to pay attention to the present, to enjoy the time that I had with Shannon.  The darkness lifted and we learned to live with cancer.

Lord, you’ve worked miracles with her chemotherapy.  One treatment that normally only worked for people for a few months before becoming ineffective kept the cancer at bay for over a year.  Another treatment that was only expected to keep the cancer from growing actually diminished the tumor to the point where they couldn’t see it anymore.  The number of options for treating the cancer continues to grow.  You are giving great wisdom to people who work to find an effective cure to this awful disease.  Thank you!

Now that the cancer is back, I will need help in prioritizing things in life.   The chemo will sap Shannon’s energy, and I will need to set aside those frivolous things which take so much of my time and energy.  You’ve helped me to it before…help me again!  Cancer has a way of cutting through the clutter and helping me see what’s essential in life.

You have given Shannon strength to deal with over seven years of cancer.  Shannon’s mom has endured something like seventeen years of fighting ovarian cancer…and she’s back in treatments again.  The two of them share the same oncologist…the same cancer…and now the same chemo schedule.  Mother and daughter will sit side by side on Mayo Clinic’s Gonda 10.  Help them to strengthen each other as they live with ovarian cancer.

God, you have walked with my family through this whole cancer journey.  Give Shannon and her mom the strength to live with the chemo.  Give their oncologist wisdom to find the most effective treatments.  Give the researchers wisdom as they explore ways to battle cancer.  Give me energy to handle my added responsibilities around the home.

We put ourselves in your hands, Lord.  What else can we do?  Thank you for being with us through this whole ordeal.

 

Pete