This past
weekend I came to the sad realization: I am an addict…and I blame it on Steve
Szuberski!
I just
returned from Peace’s annual Ice Fishing weekend. We had a weekend abounding in fish…good
beverages…wind…more wind…and even more wind. On Saturday we had a hard time keeping one of
the ice houses in place – it kept wanting to blow across the ice! We cleaned (and ate) piles of perch and
sunnies. We even hauled in about a 17
inch bass (caught on a piece of chicken wing…go figure).
As the crew
arrived at the cabin and started unloading, I knew I was in for a rough
time. First came the chips and
salsa. Then came the cookies. Then the jalapeno cheese curls. At last Steve walked in with the final straw:
trail mix. My mouth watered as he mixed together
the peanuts, raisins, and M&M’s.
Over the
Christmas season I knew that I ate way too much. I started to become what my friend Kevin
Woestehoff calls a ‘fat skinny man,’ a thin guy with a gut. I entered the new year vowing to cut back and
take care of myself. As I saw the
delicious piles of snacks on the counter at the cabin, I feared that the vow
would get set aside for a while. It did.
Every time I
walked past an open bag I’d stick in my hand.
At first I ate because I was hungry.
Later I ate because it tasted wonderful.
Finally I ate…because it was there.
Trail mix provides the perfect combination of sweet and salt. I can only eat so many sweet things before it
gets to be too much. I can only handle
so much salt at one sitting. But…put the
two together and the munching becomes endless.
The first
night I lay in bed, feeling like a bowling ball had been plopped on top of
me. My stomach ached. The mountains of salt dehydrated me. I felt gross.
I’m a smart
guy…I should have learned from that experience.
I didn’t. Sadly, the next day was
worse. I told myself to stop munching,
but I repeatedly found myself at the counter full of snacks, grabbing ‘just one
more.’ I couldn’t control my
actions. That sounds like addiction to
me.
I returned
home with a small jar of trail mix. I told Shannon, “I don’t want to eat any
more – it’s yours.” A couple hours I
found the jar in my hand. What could be
wrong with one more little bit? Shannon
held me to my word and took it away. The
next morning I thought a quick bite would be great before heading to work. Again, Shannon reminded me, “You said you
were done eating this!”
I didn’t
quit until I had someone to help me quit.
I couldn’t do it alone. That’s
why God gave me such a loving wife!
Addictions
come in many shapes and sizes. Alcohol …
pornography … food … TV … Facebook… e-mail…texting… the list can go on and
on. We all have things we can’t
control. They overwhelm our willpower
and cause us to do the very things we want to avoid.
Addictions
without accountability can crush us. We
need not suffer alone! Who has God put
into your life to help you control the addictions that threaten to overwhelm
you?